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Obama Gets Hit By a Bus! Sort of…

November 4, 2010

“Now I’m not recommending for every future president that they take a shellacking like I took last night… I’m sure there are easier ways to learn these lessons.” – Barack Obama: 11/3/10

Much easier, Barack. If only little Malia and Sacha were old enough to be fans of Mean Girls, they could have forced daddy to watch and learn from the downfall of Regina George. Head of the “Plastics,” Regina rises to the top of the “girl world” food chain after strategically positioning friends and enemies against each other. (Yes, I enjoy Mean Girls thoroughly. It’s witty, and entertaining!) The problem with that strategy is, once it all hits the fan, she has nobody left who actually likes her.

Over these past two years, Obama’s policy and actions finally hit the fan. Tuesday night, as Republicans claimed 63 seats in the House and 6 seats

Obama has given that same stare to Pelosi and Reid, I'm not making this up.

in the Senate, with many races still left undecided more than a day later. You can’t tell Republicans that they can come along for the ride, “but they’ve gotta sit in the back of the bus,” (especially if you were white) like Obama did on the campaign trail before last night. You can’t refer to Republicans as the “enemies” of latinos, because they may not want illegal immigrants crossing the borders. Just like Regina got hit by that bus and had her head put in traction for the prom, Obama got hit by a bus and his presidency may be in traction for the next two years. You see, if you’re going to burn bridges, and piss people off for two straight years, you better be right. Tuesday night, the American public let Obama know he’s been more wrong than that time Stevie Wonder got spun around three times and dropped in a corn maze.

To this point in his presidency, Mr. Obama has acted with the arrogance

Sorry, Barack, but you're not in an indestructible suit running off technology yet to be discovered.

of Tony Stark, only he didn’t create the world’s greatest superweapon, and Pepper Potts isn’t his Chief of Staff. Now, it looks like he may actually sit down and speak with Republican leaders. Until Tuesday night’s Dem-debacle,  Obama never once spoke with then-Republican House Minority (now Majority) Leader John Boehner, or Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell about ways they could work together. That chat should be about as awkward as a one-night stand meeting the roommates the next morning. But not quite as awkward as any of Barney Frank’s one night stands.

The fact is, Obama never wanted to sit down and talk with Republicans, but now he’s been forced to. This is similar to a guy who consistently cheats on his girlfriend… until he gets caught. Then he’s sorry. Obama would have kept on pushing his agenda through Congress, if he still had the Congress. Just like that boyfriend would keep cheating on his girlfriend, if he didn’t get caught. People rarely change on their own, and we’ve seen Obama’s true colors. “Bipartisonship” is simply a fancy political word that the president used to get into his office, just like “weonlyhookeduponce” is the fancy word cheating boyfriends use.

One of the reasons I love politics is because they mirror sports. The election season is always filled with ups and downs for candidates, like any sports team. In the end, there is a winner and a loser. After the election, you get to follow how those people act with power. Along the way, you learn everything about the team. Who can’t shoot free throws. Who votes to increase the deficit. Who strikes out on sliders in the dirt. Who votes to pass a health care bill that will send premiums skyrocketing and could bankrupt the country. Who flirts improperly with Spanish sideline reporters. Who has a homosexual relationship with a Fannie Mae exec, thus backing the efforts of that executive as his company helps cripple the country’s economy (that last one is Barney Frank. Scroll back up to the previous end of paragraph joke if you didn’t get it the first time).

Here's the Spanish TV reporter... and you thought I would make you read a whole blog without a hot chick? I know my readership!

The last two years, Obama saw his career rise and fall faster than the Pogs fad. Except, Pogs only cost millions of kids their dignity on the playground, while Obama has cost the country trillions of dollars in debt, and our nation its dignity on a global scale as he goes around calling us “arrogant” and apologizing for our country being so powerful. What he failed to realize is the United States of America has 234 years of exploits and reasons for arrogance. Hopefully, Barack Obama only has two years left.

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