Tea Party Stirs Midterm Election Night

November 2, 2010

I did it again. In keeping with the personal credo of my Halloween costumes, I chose a current event/issue and dressed as it for the day America overlooks slutty outfits. This idea all started when I dressed as Mark McGwire’s 70th home run ball in 6th grade and won most original costume at my school’s family dance. Damn, were the girls flocking to me THAT night. Since then, amongst other things, I’ve been a Duke lacrosse player, one of Michael Vick’s dogs, the Stock Market, Allen from The Hangover and most recently, the Tea Party. All of those costumes were utter hits, as you can imagine, save for one.

Sunday night, whilst wearing a party hat, button down shirt, necklace of tea, and the Republican elephant symbol, a Jagermeister shot girl came up to my friends and I asking what we all were. She started off on fire. “Lil Wayne, Kanye West, Kenny Powers, a Caveman, Eminem and… uhhh, umm… is it your birthday?!” she asked me. “No, I’m the Tea Party. Get it. Party Hat. Tea. Republican symbol,” I responded. She didn’t get it. “You mean like, the Boston Tea Party?!” At this point I was far more interested in the bucket of alcoholic concoction that was in front of me, so I looked up and asked, “You’re not really a political junkie, are you?” To which she laughed and said, “Nooo, I was an English major. I hate history.” Exasperated, I ended the discourse: “Yes, you’re exactly right. I’m the Boston Tea Party. Now can I get a Jager lanyard or what?”

Sure, I got the lanyard, but there was a larger issue at hand here. An election that stood to shape our country’s future was two days away and this self-proclaimed college-educated Jager shot girl did not know what the Tea Party was. Now aside from the fact that I believe she majored in English about as much as I’d believe four consecutive strippers telling me they are just dancing to get through law school, I realized that this may be a very good thing. But not for Democrat politicians.

Perhaps Shakespeare was more her... cup of tea. Lame pun, FTW!

Flash back two years. “Hope and change!” “Yes we can!” Remember those fun little sayings? Gosh, they sure were neat. I recall them well. My peers came to class dressed in their trendy Obama tees. Street volunteers handed out pamphlets ranging from the plight of the Polar Bear, to mosquito nets in Africa, to why Obama would save America from debt, a crap economy and everyone not having healthcare, like in Europe! It didn’t matter to these leftists that “Europe” would just be called “Germany” if it wasn’t for “America.” To them, the last eight years of George W. Bush meant that America is evil and needs to hug foreign dictators more.

Flash forward to the present. Obama’s approval rating has shifted from 65% approving and 29% disapproving after a month in office, to 45.6% approving and 49.4% disapproving after two years in office. That’s a +36 to a -4. To put it another way, February 2009 Obama was Brooklyn Decker, while present-day Obama is Kelly Osbourne.

Yep. Brooklyn.

Present-day Barack? Is that you?!








Why did Obama get Kelly Osborne ugly, you ask? Partly because our federal deficit has doubled since he stepped into office. Partly because the economic stimulus did nothing to create new jobs, even though fuzzy math by the White House say it sort of did (too bad part-time Census worker jobs don’t come around every year). Partly because the health-care bill that got passed sucks. But mostly, because Obama has done nothing to create much “Hope.”

Sure, there’s been change, only all it did was piss off the largest group of America. The Americans who work hard for their money and would like to keep most of it, not give it to the government to fund failed stimulus bills, expansive health care bills, and legislation that lets illegal aliens live, work, and receive benefits from them. Those angry people formed a party named for the revolutionary act that took place when colonists rose up against the latest tax from King George III. In a way, my Jager shot girl wasn’t completely ignorant after all. The Boston Tea Party was the inspiration for the current Tea Party, sort of.

So here’s why young people not knowing what the Tea Party is becomes a problem for Obama-led Democrats. Because no one who rallied around the current president two years ago seems to even care about these mid-term elections. The man who led the social networking political movement failed to keep the attention of his newest voting group. You see, on the internet, you get your 15 minutes of fame, but usually fail to hold the attention of us over-diagnosed ADD ritalin addicts known as the 18-25 year old age bracket. We’ve got more important stuff to see and do, like watch the ultimate freakout kid on Youtube, and peruse Maxim’s Hot 100.

Arianny Celeste is #23... in case you were wondering.

So now, we get to see the election results tonight. Every single House seat is up for grabs. Thirty-seven Senate and Governor seats are open. The House is almost guaranteed to turn Republican. Which means no more Nancy Pelosi. The Senate should come closer to 50-50, which means no more jamming bills through to Fuhrer Obama. Meanwhile, Obama has become so unpopular that most Democrats did not even want his help in their campaign, as they try to distance themselves from his policy of the past two years. Even the least politically-inclined, like the Jager shot girl, knows that can’t be a good thing.


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