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We Are All Witness… er, Racist?

September 30, 2010

Today, in the middle of my work shift, I glanced at a headline on ESPN Bottomline that read: “LeBron James says race played a factor in media coverage this summer.” I continued working, but thought to myself, “Wait, WHAT?!” Then it hit me. When you become absurdly rich and famous, you turn equally insane. I will delve into this theory further when I discuss how insane Jennifer Aniston must be to still be single, but for today, I’m focusing on King James.

LeBron’s specific level of insanity has clearly reached Kanye proportions. For the

"Come on, Kanye, you know I have no problem listenating to your awesome songs!"

record, I love and despise Kanye. I loved his VMA performance, because he was so stunningly insane. I hated his claims that George Bush hated black people because of Hurricane Katrina. I hated his interruption of Taylor Swift because he felt Beyonce made one of the greatest music videos, EVER. I loved the double standard he so blatantly brought to light in America. I hated that nobody in America grew a set and discussed the giant Racial Elephant in the room.

Since he is now breaching the upper stratosphere of Kanyanity (see what I did there?!), I’m going to put the race issue to rest. While most people are too scared to talk about race, I’m not. I know I am not a racist. My friends know it, too. This topic is quite simple to discuss. When you decide to turn your back on the city that guided you into the NBA, and did everything they could to turn you into the sickeningly rich human being you are today, it’s not a race issue. When you do all of that in an event created and dubbed by your “team” (not the Cavs, the group of leeches who get rich off LeBron being so rich), and name it “The Decision” it’s not a race issue. When this event is one of the most egotistical things ever seen in sports, and you mask that by giving some money to the Boys and Girls Club, it’s not a race issue.

Although I do little to no research for the purposes of my blog rants, I do know for a certified fact, based on my life, to this point, that there are black people who live in Cleveland. I’m also positive there are black people who live in other places in America. On top of all that, there are most certainly black people employed as members of the media. There are also lots of white people in all those places and professions. They all hated you for what you did LeBron. Not one article I read said: “LeBron James Makes the Right ‘Decision’.” Even if you made the right choice by

The Reverend Jesse Jackson... deserves no more words in my blog today.

joining forces with D Wade and Bosh in Miami, you handled it as poorly as possible. When Jesse Jackson claimed Cavs owner Dan Gilbert possessed a “slave drivers mentality” nobody called Jackson racist (which I would argue, is true). He wasn’t racist, he was just a guy who lost potentially hundreds of millions of dollars because you left his team. Why does race have to get involved? Why does Jesse Jackson EVER get involved? I digress.

Much like Kanye, you have decided that it’s impossible for all these people to hate you. You probably thought… “Wait, I’m f’ing LeBron James! I’m the two-time defending NBA MVP! How could everyone possibly hate me! I KNOW, THEY MUST ALL HATE BLACK PEOPLE! EVEN THOUGH LOTS OF BLACK PEOPLE HATE ME TOO!” See, the concept is flawed. Thousands of people used to wear shirts saying “We Are All Witnesses” in honor of your talent. Now, you think “They Are All Racist”?! I don’t think so, brah.

Look out Kanye, there's a new ego-maniac in town... and by town, I mean in the eyes of almost every American sports fan (those racists).

But don’t worry, LeBron, Kanye still won me over with his crazy antics after his own attempts to bring race into play. I just hope your saneness continues to climb to Kanye-esque levels. Hanging out in South Beach should help things out. Shutting up and playing basketball might help more.

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